FunN2sHh » Santa Banta Jokes

Did you Find Anything?

FunN2sHh — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 13:09:45 +0000

Santa Singh went to US and had a meeting with President Obama.

Obama: I want to show you the US advancement. Come with me. He takes him to a forest.
Obama: Dig the ground. Santa did it.
Obama: More…More…More... Santa Singh went up to 100 feet.
Obama: So now, try to search something.
Santa Singh: I got a wire.
Obama : you know, it shows that even 100 years ago we used to have telephones.

Santa Singh became frustrated. He invited Obama to India.
Next year Obama was in India

Santa Singh : I want to show you our advancement. The same, He takes Obama to a forest.
Santa Singh : Dig it. Obama does.
Santa Singh : More…More…More… Obama goes up to almost 400 feet.
Santa Singh : Try to find something. Obama tries.
Santa Singh : Did you get anything?
Obama : No, there is nothing here.
Santa Singh : You know, it shows that even 400 years ago we used to have WIRELESS!!!

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Did you Find Anything?

Tiger and Santa in Zoo

FunN2sHh — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 04:24:26 +0000

Santa Singh was a big hunter. Once he went to a zoo. At that time a big tiger escaped from its cage. The zoo officials sent everyone out of the zoo and closed the main gate. Now the tiger is inside the zoo but wandering freely.

Zoo people requested Santa to go inside and trap the tiger in a cage. Scared but to avoid insult he went into the zoo in his jeep carrying a big gun. While driving on one of the zoo’s roads, he noticed that the tiger is chasing him. Feeling scared he drove the jeep fast but only to observe that the tiger is very near to the jeep.

At that time the road separated into two paths ahead, one to the left and other to the right. Then cleverly Santa put the left indicator on and turned the jeep to the road on right. The tiger runs into the left path.

With a sigh of relief, he drove forward. After some time the roads meet and the same situation arises again. once more the road divides into two and this time our Santa is smart enough to put the right indicator on and turned to left. This time the tiger goes into the road on right side.

After some time the roads meet again to our Santa’s misfortune and the tiger starts to chase him again. This time the road never divides and our Santa thought the tiger would catch him. Then a brilliant idea struck his mind. He slows down his jeep taking it to the left corner of the road. Then he held his hand outside and a gives signal which is given for vehicles which want to overtake.

The tiger this time overtakes his jeep and runs forward.

Moral Of The Story:- There are Santa Singh in Tigers too.

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Tiger and Santa in Zoo

Santa Singh in Story Writing Competition

FunN2sHh — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 06:28:26 +0000

Santa Singh happened to participate in a competition, which was about writing the shortest story. The organizers had put a condition that a story must have four ingredients viz. religion, sex, suspense and mystery. Santa singh turn came after many attempts by others. Santa gave a story, which was just one sentence and read:

“Oh God, my wife is going to deliver a child“.
Ostensibly amused, the organizers asked Santa whether it contained all the four ingredients!! Santa replied affirmatively and gave his explanation as below:

Oh God: religion

my wife: sex

going to deliver a child : suspense (whether a girl or a boy)

“Okay…. but where is the mystery ?” asked one of the organizers.

Our Santa Singh replied : Who is the father ??

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Santa Singh in Story Writing Competition

How many Roti’s

FunN2sHh — Sat, 30 May 2009 04:39:15 +0000

Our very own Santa Singh is always hungry. You can feed him almost anytime and he even wont deny to it. He eats good amount of food and that is why he is so special. Once he stuck in a situation and see what happened.

In a party one of Santa Singh’s friends asked him how many Roti he could eat in an empty stomach. Santa replied “Seven“.

Then his friend told him “When you eat the first Roti your stomach is no longer empty. Then how can you eat seven??”

Santa was impressed by this tricky question. So as soon as he went back home he asked his wife “How many Roti can you eat in an empty stomach??”. She replied “Five“.

Then Santa said: “If only you had told seven I had a nice reply 4 it“.

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How many Roti’s

Santa Singh in Desert

FunN2sHh — Thu, 28 May 2009 03:28:42 +0000

Our very own Santa Singh has met lot of big people, and done great tasks, proving that he not just another Human, but much much more than that.

Below is another wonderful incident which made our belief more strong….

Our Santa Singh, a Japanese, and a Britisher were lost in the desert. They
were driving around in a Jeep when it broke down, because they had
nothing else they decided to each take a piece of the Jeep as they
continued their journey.

The Japanese took the radiator, the Britisher
took the seat, and our Santa Singh took the door.

After a while of walking the Britisher asked the Japanese, “I’m
confused, why did you bring the Radiator?“

The Japanese responded, “If I get thirsty, I can drink the fluid.”
Next our Santa Singh asked the Britisher, “Why did you bring the seat?“

So the Britisher said, “If I get tired, I am not going to sit on the
sand. I can sit on this comfortable seat.”

Finally the Japanese asked Santa why he had chosen the door. Santa quickly responded to this question, “Well, when I shall feel the need to get some breeze in this summer all I have to do is roll down the window.”

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Santa Singh in Desert

Kaun Banega Crorepati

FunN2sHh — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 03:30:20 +0000

Kaun banega Crorepati, no doubt the biggest ever TV reality show in India. Hosted by Amitabh Bachchan, one of the finest actors in the industry till date, this show had the highest craze among people.
Many jokes have come by and the below joke too was shared with me.
This is however not a reality, but just an imagination of how a person would have used his brain to make all people laugh.
Enjoy the joke !!!

We have our famous friend Santa qualifying for the hot seat.
( He pressed the buttons by accident and managed to qualify)
Amitabh Bachchan : OK Santa I congratulate you for this opportunity here with us.
Santa : Oh ji Wahe guru da khalsa wahe guru di fateh.
Chak denge phatte aj. Tusi start karo ji.

AB : OK Santa this is your first question for 1000
Rs. – ‘Which state has the largest sikh population ?’ and your options are
A. Punjab
B. Punjab
C. Punjab
D. Punjab
Santa : Oh ji how much time do I’ve to answer this question

AB : Samay ki koi pabandhi nahi hai Santa ji, you can t! ake your time
Santa (giggles) : Sir ji tricky sawaal puchha hai aapne. I would like to use my lifeline.

AB : I’m not surprised on this , which one wud U like to use.
Santa : Audience poll

AB : OK audience please be ready with your voting pads, and your time starts now.
After a minute we have a graphic presentation on the board.
A. 25%
B. 25%
C. 25%
D. 25%

AB : Santa ji, this is a no good situation for you, I can share your disgust here.
Santa : Yeh mere saath hi kyon hota hai. Fasa diya Sirji aapki audience ne. I think I’ve to use my second lifeline – 50 50.

AB : Very good ! 50 50 ka istemal karna chahenge. OK
computer ji do galat jawab mita diye jayen.
Computer displays A. Punjab and C. Punjab
Santa : Badi chalu machine hai aapki sar ji. Mein
chodoonga nahi aaj isko.
Wahe guru de kasam mereko third life line bhi chahiye.

AB : Kamal hai Santa ji, I must congratulate you, You have record of using all the lifelines in the very first question.
This is great . OK phone a friend – kisko phone karna chahen ge aap.
Santa : My one and only one… mera langotiya yaar., Banta Singh.

AB : OK Banta ko phone lagaya jaye.
Phone rings. Banta picks it ‘ Hulloooooo, kon hai oye
adi raati,???’

AB : Hello Banta ji , mein Amitabh Bachhan bol raha hoon Star Plus ke Kaun Banega Crorepati se.
Banta : OOOOOOOOOO Bachan ji Sasriyakal, koi hor hota to uski to mein #_^_%_#_%_%_&. Ke hal! chal he sar ji.

AB : Mein thik hoon Banta ji, par ye ek family show hai is liye aap apshabdon ka prayog na karen to behtar hoga. Aapke dost yahaan bethe hain mere saath
aur……………..
Banta (Interrupts) : Aur wo sala pehle hi question pe atak gaya hoga, khota hai sala. Sawal pucho ji.

AB : Aapko sirf tees second .,………….. chaliye mein aapko special case karte hue 1 minute doonga. Aur aapka samay shuru hota hai aab.
Santa : Oye bante ke ho raya hai yaar ??
Banta : oye ullu de dum, saale bahar se taala laga gaya khote. Sawere dud wala aaya si, paise mang raya si, aur khotya tu meri kameez pehen gaya. Sale chakki se aata lana tha, tera baap laye ga.

AB : Santa ji kya kar rahe hain samay khatam ho raha hai.
Santa : Yes Yes. Oye chod use yaar question hai
………………… (he tells him the question).
Banta : Saale sari zindagi tere nakal mar ke fail hota raha hoon, par iska answer mujhe aata hai.
Kalank hai tu Punjab ke naam pe . Iska answer Punjab hai lallu.
Santa : oye par ……… (and the clock stops).

AB : Samay khatam, aapke mitr ne jawab de diya hai , ab to mujhe pakka confidence hai ke aap kam se kam 1000 to le ke jayenge hi aaj.
Santa : Ullu ka patha hai ji, ye to mujhe bhi pata hai par sale ne yeh to batya nahin ke A hai ya C hai.

And this was the last episode of KBC as most of the audience died laughing…

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Kaun Banega Crorepati