An 80 year old lady was being interviewed by the local news station because she had just gotten married – for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband’s occupation. “He’s a funeral director,” she [...]
A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large Plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags rips, and every once In a while a $20 bill falls out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stops her, and says, “Ma’am, there are $20 Bills falling out of your bag.” “Oh, [...]
Men want 3 qualities in wives: Economist in kitchen, artist in home& devil in bed But they get artist in kitchen, devil in home& economist in Bed. What is the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don’t turn into men when they drink. What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? A [...]
Three men a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree. Before anyone knows it, the three men found themselves standing before the pearly gates of Heaven, where St. Peter and the Devil were standing nearby. “Gentlemen,” the Devil started, “Due to the fact that [...]
At a wedding, the D.J. polled the guests to see who had been married the longest. The winners were then asked, “What advice do you have for the newlyweds?“ The wife quickly responded, “The three most important words in a marriage are ‘You’re probably right’.” Everyone then looked at the husband. He said, “Yeah, she’s [...]
